Communism is The Bees Knees

You may ask, "Oh marvelous and divine God, why do you choose Communism over all other Political systems?"

I chortle, and am quite befuddled about why you would question Communism. Have you not read the Pravda lately, peon?

In case you cannot comprehend the simplistic and straightforward Communist principles which you have grown up with, I will elaborate on the Aims and Extent of Mother Russia's Totalitarianism Communism in Layman's Terms.

• Government Regulation is a must. (We don't want revolts or revolution, do we?)
• Support government with a Police Force. (For all of those ruffians.)
• Exterminate all who oppose your ideas.
• If you don't like to kill, put those people into labor-camps.
• Call it a Purge. (Fancy name that is nicer than Genocide. :) )
• Industrial Revolution. (To out-compete all of those mean, bigger countries.)
• I accomplished this through the Five-Year Plan. (Did wonders for the industrial output and the economy.)
• Human expense is to be expected. (It's for the greater good. <3)
• Use the police to regulate as much as possible. (It's like Comic Sans - Use it as often as possible.)
• Agrarian Revolution. (Support our country's future.)
• Seize everyone's farmland . (Greater good <3)
• Collective Farms. (Gotta boost that output - Results don't lie.)
• Educate!
• Deify yourself.
• Use propaganda, radio, and any other means of communication to spread Communism and your ideals.
• Censor opposing ideas.
• Find a Scapegoat. (I used Orthodox Christians and I heard Hitler used the Jews - Just pick a group and stick with it.)
• The people want a cause!
• Improve the status of women. 
• But only do it to improve industrial and agrarian outputs.
• Also, baby-making. (They're the future population.)